Advocating For Your Own Health

Tiffani Stokley has worked here for nearly 4 years as a Software Quality Developer. In 2006 she was faced with a health scare that changed her life forever. She is the woman who started the Unstop-ABLE Team Member Resource Network (TMRN), a group for team members to share insight and spark conversation about visible and non-visible disabilities. The group provides support and awareness across the Rocket Companies^® on matters related to disability and chronic illness.

Read her story to learn more about how to trust your instinct and advocate for your own health below.

I ran my hand across my neck and felt the scar from the lymph node biopsy performed in 2006. I started thinking how far I’d come these past 13 years.

In 1996, I won the battle with my weight and was in great shape … except for some strange symptoms. I started developing allergies to certain foods and an unconquerable fatigue haunted me. Doctors told me it was nothing, but my instinct was strong. This isn’t normal.

I went to doctor after doctor. One told me that I was too young to have something wrong with me. She said that she practiced geriatric medicine and saw people with real problems, so she wasn’t going to order any tests. Ouch! I left there feeling embarrassed and helpless.

I wish she would have showed concern because my health eventually took a nosedive. I started losing weight without exercising and experiencing sharp pains after eating. I was told it was gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) even after explaining the pain was in my side. Ten years passed and I was tired of hearing nothing was wrong.

Early in 2006 on a routine visit for a totally unrelated issue, a doctor noticed my lab work was strange. He urged me to revisit my primary care doctor with his findings and that’s when it hit the fan. Initially the diagnosis was Non-Hodgkin lymphoma. The initial biopsy came back negative, but my doctor was so convinced that she ordered another test.

I was also losing blood at the time, so the next almost diagnosis was leukemia. I had a bone marrow biopsy (yes, they are painful) that came back negative but there was bone marrow damage. Very strange indeed. The hematologist presented my case at a medical conference to see if anyone had seen anything like that before. The answer was no. Meanwhile, I was still losing blood somehow, so the doctors ordered every test and scan possible. Modesty was out the door. Strangers saw all of my innards and ‘outards.’

I was still working at the time trying to hide bad days from co-workers. I reluctantly went on medical leave but didn’t want to because I enjoyed the distraction of work. I had to seriously face my mortality and think about getting my affairs in order. As one doctor put it, “You’re too young to be this sick!” Thanks, I’ll pass that onto my body.

After 6 months of testing, the diagnosis was lupus and it brought some friends (several other medical conditions). I was excited to finally have proof I wasn’t a hypochondriac (you don’t look sick…), but that was just the beginning. From 2006 to last year, I’ve had several surgeries and procedures to correct the damage caused by my immune system.

I have to manage life, work and illness with precision. I plan on staying on this side of the dirt as long as I can!

Why am I sharing? Because I have to remind myself of my strength. I’m still here like the little engine that could. When you have a chronic illness, it’s easy to feel like you’re behind your peers. You can’t do as much as you used to. Your social and family life changes.

Medical bills take a toll on your finances. You wonder if you’ll get to a point where you can’t work anymore. I fight daily to keep a positive outlook. I use mindfulness to stay present and stave off the anxiety from trying to predict the future. I find others who can relate to give and receive encouragement.

A good support network is crucial. This is why I wanted to help start Unstop-ABLE. I want to use my experience as a professional patient to help others. The Unstop-ABLE network provides support and awareness across Rocket Companies® on matters related to disability and chronic illness. I’m proud to show that we are ABLE to do whatever we put our minds to both in and outside of work.